{"id":79,"date":"2024-12-18T18:30:09","date_gmt":"2024-12-18T18:30:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.kristenmoneycoach.co.uk\/blog\/?p=79"},"modified":"2024-12-18T18:30:09","modified_gmt":"2024-12-18T18:30:09","slug":"why-we-feel-shame-over-money-behaviours-and-how-to-let-it-go","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kristenmoneycoach.co.uk\/blog\/why-we-feel-shame-over-money-behaviours-and-how-to-let-it-go\/","title":{"rendered":"Why We Feel Shame Over Money Behaviours and How to Let It Go"},"content":{"rendered":"

Money shame. It\u2019s a sneaky little devil, isn\u2019t it? It\u2019s that stomach-knotting, face-flushing feeling that creeps in when you\u2019ve spent too much on a treat, forgotten to pay a bill on time, or realised you\u2019ve been dodging conversations about debt for far too long. But why does shame latch on so tightly when it comes to money? And more importantly, how can we set ourselves free from it?<\/p>\n

What Does Money Shame Look and Feel Like?<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Let\u2019s start by understanding what money shame actually is. It\u2019s not just the guilt of making a mistake\u2014it\u2019s deeper and more personal. Shame tells us that we are<\/em> the mistake. Instead of saying, \u201cI messed up my budget,\u201d shame whispers (or often shouts), \u201cI\u2019m rubbish with money\u201d or \u201cI\u2019ll never get this right.\u201d<\/p>\n

Physically, money shame can feel like a punch to the gut. Your chest tightens, your heartbeat quickens, and your body might react as if you\u2019re in danger. That\u2019s because shame triggers the same fight-or-flight response as any other threat. And let\u2019s be honest, when you\u2019re looking at a mountain of overdue bills or thinking about the credit card you\u2019ve been avoiding, it does<\/em> feel threatening.<\/p>\n

Why Are We So Ashamed of Our Money Habits?<\/strong><\/h4>\n

The roots of money shame often dig deep into our past. Maybe you grew up hearing things like \u201cWe don\u2019t talk about money,\u201d or perhaps your parents fought about finances, making money feel like a source of conflict or secrecy. Society doesn\u2019t help, either. We\u2019re bombarded with social media snapshots of people living their \u201cbest lives\u201d and making it look effortless\u2014designer handbags, luxury holidays, the perfect kitchen. If you\u2019re barely making it to the end of the month financially, it\u2019s easy to feel like you\u2019ve failed.<\/p>\n

Then there\u2019s the toxic myth that our financial worth equals our self-worth. People too often (and possibly unconsciously) link their value as a human to the size of their salary, their savings account, or even their ability to afford brunch every weekend. It\u2019s a trap that leaves us feeling \u201cless than\u201d if we\u2019re not ticking all the boxes of society\u2019s version of financial success.<\/p>\n

The Hidden Costs of Money Shame<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Money shame doesn\u2019t just mess with your head; it can affect your behaviour too. When we feel ashamed, we\u2019re more likely to:<\/p>\n

    \n
  • \n
    Avoid the problem: <\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    Ignoring bank statements or refusing to open bills might feel easier in the moment, but it only creates more stress in the long run.<\/span><\/p>\n

      \n
    • \n
      Self-sabotage:<\/h5>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

      Shame can lead to impulsive spending or giving up entirely on budgeting because you feel like, \u201cWhat\u2019s the point in even trying?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

        \n
      • \n
        Isolate ourselves:<\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

        Feeling ashamed of your money situation can make you withdraw from friends and family, leaving you without support when you need it most.<\/p>\n

        How to Break Free From Money Shame<\/strong><\/h4>\n

        The good news? Money shame doesn\u2019t have to stick around. Here\u2019s how to start loosening its grip:<\/p>\n

          \n
        1. \n
          Name It to Tame It<\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          Shame thrives in secrecy. By naming it, you take away some of its power. Talk to someone you trust about your money worries\u2014a friend, a family member, or even a financial coach. Sharing your story helps you realise you\u2019re not alone, and it\u2019s often the first step towards healing.<\/p>\n

            \n
          1. \n
            Challenge the Narrative<\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

            Shame is built on negative self-talk. Start paying attention to those sneaky little phrases like \u201cI\u2019m terrible with money\u201d or \u201cI\u2019ll never get out of this mess.\u201d Replace them with more constructive thoughts, such as \u201cI\u2019m learning to manage my money\u201d or \u201cI\u2019ve taken the first step by facing this head-on.\u201d<\/p>\n

              \n
            1. \n
              Forgive Yourself<\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

              No one is perfect, and we\u2019ve all made financial mistakes. Take a moment to forgive yourself for past slip-ups. It\u2019s okay to acknowledge what went wrong without letting it define you. Remember, your worth isn\u2019t tied to your bank balance.<\/p>\n

                \n
              1. \n
                Take Small, Manageable Steps<\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                Overcoming money shame doesn\u2019t mean solving everything overnight. Start small: set up a direct debit for that bill you keep missing, create a simple budget, or even just open the banking app you\u2019ve been dreading. Each step forward builds confidence and reduces shame.<\/p>\n

                  \n
                1. \n
                  Celebrate Wins\u2014No Matter How Small<\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                  Did you resist the urge to buy something you didn\u2019t need? Celebrate that! Paid off a bit of debt? Give yourself credit. Acknowledging your progress helps you stay motivated and reminds you that change is<\/em> possible.<\/p>\n

                    \n
                  1. \n
                    Seek Professional Help if Needed<\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                    Sometimes, money shame is too overwhelming to tackle alone, and that\u2019s okay. A financial coach can help you unravel those complex feelings and create a plan that works for you. Think of it as getting a personal trainer for your finances\u2014there\u2019s no shame in seeking support.<\/p>\n

                    Let\u2019s Rewrite the Money Story<\/strong><\/h4>\n

                    Money shame can feel like a heavy burden, but it doesn\u2019t have to define your relationship with money forever. By facing it with honesty, compassion, and a willingness to change, you can start rewriting your money story into one that\u2019s empowering and shame-free.<\/p>\n

                    So, the next time shame comes knocking, remember: you\u2019re not alone, you\u2019re not a failure, and you\u2019re capable of transforming your financial life\u2014one step at a time.<\/p>\n

                     <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                    Money shame. It\u2019s a sneaky little devil, isn\u2019t it? It\u2019s that stomach-knotting, face-flushing feeling that creeps in when you\u2019ve spent too much on a treat, forgotten to pay a bill on time, or realised you\u2019ve been dodging conversations about debt for far too long. But why does shame latch on so tightly when it comes […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":80,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[25,24],"class_list":["post-79","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-emotion-feeling","tag-money","tag-money-shame"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhy We Feel Shame Over Money Behaviours and How to Let It Go - Kristen Money Coach<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Money shame. It\u2019s a sneaky little devil, isn\u2019t it? 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